Lazy Letter

My eternally beloved Bats; I have not been feeling well these past few days. My gut seems to be completely shedding itself constantly, and i am wishing i could afford the copay to go to the doc and see if i am having a gall bladder fit. ugh. anyway, i have been too uncomfortable to sit up and write you. i know the phone isn't working, and it makes me want to cry because i feel like a failure. i literally cannot put any money on the phone right now. honestly, i doubt i can put any money on your books this next week either. not hearing your voice is killing me. but there's a $25 minimum and a $7 fee.....I don't have that kind of money right now. Since exhusband's paychecks wont start coming in till september, i have to conserve for three weeks from now when the kids come home. i need to buy school supplies and food first and foremost. i haven't been eating out and i haven't been buying drinks at the bar. i have skipped karaoke completely to save money. i am becoming a hermit. on the plus side of that, though, i am rearranging the house and the rooms. the master suite now has the bed on another wall, the desk and computer....and soon to be your tv and dvr. i moved the large kennel out of the bedroom and into the area where the small kennel was.

i dreamt of you last night, mon ami....oh my darling it was divine.....i dreamt you were under house arrest across town. so i drove to see you and we embraced and made love in your twin bed...and we cuddled for an hour afterward and just talked about everything. i fucking miss you so much. written word cannot express the depth of my love for you. written word cannot caress your face the way my hand can. written word has such power and yet it falls short when attempting to convey my true and real emotions for you. i am glad you are keeping busy inside the prison....it sounds like fun, though i know you can't wait to come home. i can't wait to have you home too...though i am enjoying my freedom. paul wants to come over every day but i am so engrossed in rearranging the house and enjoying my alone time that i turn him down but twice a week. LOL though i did go with him to his parents' house this past weekend - it's in magnolia and they have a pool. he had to mow the expansive lawn, and i decided to get some swimming done in private. i don't like swimming in public, and their pool is surrounded by a large amount of grass and tall trees. Basically paul was the only one able to see me. And when we arrived, there was a SNAKE and a FROG in the pool! how cool is that?!? i got the snake out (after he tried for ten minutes and couldn't seem to get it done)...then i got the frog out and it was SO COOL. Then I swam for a couple hours and floated....stared at the tree tops and the clouds floating by. It was so peaceful. I received your letter - I hope you got the books I sent!! I am falling asleep now, my love, so I must go. But I will write more soon. Your forever and always; Harley