I read someone's status last night on facebook (or maybe it was a photo....) about what a person thinks about on the first date. I realized I miss dating. The excitement...the butterflies in my stomach...wondering if this other human being connects with you, and discovering the nuances of a new individual. But it isn't all about a person being new, it's a situational thing as well. For example, my Batsy and I have had all of one official date....well, maybe two....our first date wasn't supposed to be a date.But it was exciting. We were both nervous....aaaaand here I go into the 'how we met' story. Hang in there. It's.....interesting. :)
Batsy and I met on a chat app called Skout. I was visiting Colorado for a week and he happened to live in Colorado. I was recently broken up with the love of my life thusfar, and I had no desire to be in another relationship. Fuck that shit. I was mourning the loss of that other guy, and trying to drown my sorrows in the attentions of numerous strange men online. Batsy seemed nice, and he was sooooo cute. Honestly I couldn't stop looking at his pics and wondering what the fuck he saw in mine to make him want to hang out.
And yeah - being that I was a swinger in my marriage, I was looking for a hookup. If I could find one. It isn't all that easy, ya know. Weeding through sociopaths and creeps to try to find a guy that doesn't have erectile dysfunction, mommy issues, anger issues, psycopathic tendencies, or an STD or STI is exhausting. Especially since every man thinks that he deserves a woman to fawn over him and beg him to screw her. Pfft. Please. Anyway....back to the topic....
Batsy and I met at his place. He lived with this other lady but she was at work. So we sat on the couch and chatted awkwardly about video games and music and how we were both not really looking for a relationship but it would be nice to have a new friend and hey you have nice shoes, so would you like to have sex? Batsy introduced me to Five Finger Death Punch and Tech N9ne. I smiled and nodded and listened and stared at him. He was cuuuuuuute. And I am not. So I assumed sex was off the table.
We went to a local Irish Pub for food and song....they have a weekly live musician who sings hearty and rollicking Irish Pub Songs and the pub full of people sing along. Batsy and I each ate the rich and delicious shepherd's pie with chips and Mary Rose sauce. It was divine. Afterward, we headed over to a bar where a friend of mine was singing karaoke. We had some brews and a lot of fun.
Then we went off to drive around, trying to find a place to be more intimate (turns out he was too horny to care that I am fugly hehe). I was staying with my parents and so we couldn't get naughty there. And his roommate had made him promise he wouldn't have sex in the house. So it was kind of an issue. Fortunately, it was June in Colorado and I had lived there long enough to know all sorts of places we could go and not be disturbed.
We started to wander around a small park near where I used to live. There were n'er do wells on the playground equipment (pfft....like I am in any position to judge), so I parked Batsy's butt on a concrete wall and I gave him a little oral delight. More than a little. He was pretty satisfied. Then I wanted sex, so we moved on to my parents' place. There's a barn behind the house and we could maneuver outside the car without being seen there. Unfortunately, the vehicle in question was a VW Jetta, and so there was virtually no room. But we made do. And it was worth it. Then I took him back home....I was sad to see him go. I thoroughly enjoyed him. We exchanged phone numbers and went on our way.
I ended up finding him again the next night, as he invited me to dinner at his place. He and his roommate were cooking a delicious dinner and I could eat some tasty foods before I drove 20 hours home. Then he went to a hotel with me and we had some more fun...and took pictures...I hated to see him go. But we kept in touch and it's been 15 months now. Woo hoo!
I am tired.....but I miss my Batsy. And he says he will take me on a date next month when I go visit him. Yay!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Sunday, November 3, 2013
GUILTY!!!
I have really fallen behind with the posting. Partly because Batsy is more accessible by phone now than letters, but also partly because I was pissed off at Blogger for eating a huge post I made in early September. Pictures and all. GROWL.
I hear from my Batsy every day now. Sometimes less than I would like....I try to let him contact me because he has a full time job and a strict schedule and I don't want to interrupt anything. Or call at the wrong time. I simply don't want him being set back because of me. I want him home just as soon as he possibly can be.
Since I last posted, I have been through a lot. I got fired for, in my opinion, a bullshit reason. I was denied unemployment. And I have had to fall back on the estranged husband for monetary gifts. He is more than generous. I just feel like a leech. Doesn't help that my mother called me out as a leech to the estranged husband just yesterday. After spending the last month applauding me for being a stay at home mother. she's a class act, i tell ya. It's amazing I am who I am. But she was such a horrible mother that I made it my duty to never ever become like her. She had some good attributes - schedules and clean house and the like. But I was never loved. Never accepted. Always looked down upon and ridiculed. Ah well - my boys don't have to deal with that. They will have a stable home life, full of love and acceptance and happiness. Not so much clean house - like I said, I don't want to be like her at all. LMFAO *sigh* nah, I am just lazy.
Hey look. I am a cute kid. :)
Anyway, so I am going to have to write more later. Being a good mom means taking the kids to the museum once a month to gawk at dinosaurs. yay! Be good, y'all.
I hear from my Batsy every day now. Sometimes less than I would like....I try to let him contact me because he has a full time job and a strict schedule and I don't want to interrupt anything. Or call at the wrong time. I simply don't want him being set back because of me. I want him home just as soon as he possibly can be.
Since I last posted, I have been through a lot. I got fired for, in my opinion, a bullshit reason. I was denied unemployment. And I have had to fall back on the estranged husband for monetary gifts. He is more than generous. I just feel like a leech. Doesn't help that my mother called me out as a leech to the estranged husband just yesterday. After spending the last month applauding me for being a stay at home mother. she's a class act, i tell ya. It's amazing I am who I am. But she was such a horrible mother that I made it my duty to never ever become like her. She had some good attributes - schedules and clean house and the like. But I was never loved. Never accepted. Always looked down upon and ridiculed. Ah well - my boys don't have to deal with that. They will have a stable home life, full of love and acceptance and happiness. Not so much clean house - like I said, I don't want to be like her at all. LMFAO *sigh* nah, I am just lazy.
Anyway, so I am going to have to write more later. Being a good mom means taking the kids to the museum once a month to gawk at dinosaurs. yay! Be good, y'all.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Another Letter from my Bats!!
I get more letters than i post.....it's easier to copy and paste from my letters to him than to rewrite his chickenscratch. actually he has really good handwriting. i should post a pic sometime.... :)
To My Darling Harley;
I wanted to write again and apologize for my last letter. Again it was never meant to make you feel like a failure, it was just venting and i never meant to take it out on you and if it came across like i had, i am so sorry!! You are the light of my life and when I hasn't heard from you or heard your voice I was worried about you.
I got your letter the very next day on Friday as well as the books so it was too late to stop the letter so i felt like a huge piece of crap!
thank you SO MUCH for the books! i am already 3/4 the way through the second one 'A Clash of Kings'. almost everyone in my hallway here wants to read them when i am done!
i miss you so much! i know it's a little hard out there by yourself but remember - i am almost positive i will be out by December. I put my request in for the halfway house but since i have no ties here i don't know how that will end up. the oly reason i would want to fo to the halfway house is to have a more guaranteed route to interstate compact parole back to texas. i will explain it better in more detail when we can talk on the phone.
again, my sexy love, i think about you every day! i love you so much! I hope you are able to come in August. Speaking of which, I need some information for visitation. Well, babe, I am gonna stick this letter in the mail so it goes out tonight.
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Forever your Dark Knight;
Batsy
 |
| i can't figure out how to rotate it here....so i am lazy....woot! |
To My Darling Harley;
I wanted to write again and apologize for my last letter. Again it was never meant to make you feel like a failure, it was just venting and i never meant to take it out on you and if it came across like i had, i am so sorry!! You are the light of my life and when I hasn't heard from you or heard your voice I was worried about you.
I got your letter the very next day on Friday as well as the books so it was too late to stop the letter so i felt like a huge piece of crap!
thank you SO MUCH for the books! i am already 3/4 the way through the second one 'A Clash of Kings'. almost everyone in my hallway here wants to read them when i am done!
i miss you so much! i know it's a little hard out there by yourself but remember - i am almost positive i will be out by December. I put my request in for the halfway house but since i have no ties here i don't know how that will end up. the oly reason i would want to fo to the halfway house is to have a more guaranteed route to interstate compact parole back to texas. i will explain it better in more detail when we can talk on the phone.
again, my sexy love, i think about you every day! i love you so much! I hope you are able to come in August. Speaking of which, I need some information for visitation. Well, babe, I am gonna stick this letter in the mail so it goes out tonight.
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Forever your Dark Knight;
Batsy
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Lazy Letter
My eternally beloved Bats;
I have not been feeling well these past few days. My gut seems to be completely shedding itself constantly, and i am wishing i could afford the copay to go to the doc and see if i am having a gall bladder fit. ugh. anyway, i have been too uncomfortable to sit up and write you.
i know the phone isn't working, and it makes me want to cry because i feel like a failure. i literally cannot put any money on the phone right now. honestly, i doubt i can put any money on your books this next week either. not hearing your voice is killing me. but there's a $25 minimum and a $7 fee.....I don't have that kind of money right now. Since exhusband's paychecks wont start coming in till september, i have to conserve for three weeks from now when the kids come home. i need to buy school supplies and food first and foremost. i haven't been eating out and i haven't been buying drinks at the bar. i have skipped karaoke completely to save money. i am becoming a hermit.
on the plus side of that, though, i am rearranging the house and the rooms. the master suite now has the bed on another wall, the desk and computer....and soon to be your tv and dvr. i moved the large kennel out of the bedroom and into the area where the small kennel was.
i dreamt of you last night, mon ami....oh my darling it was divine.....i dreamt you were under house arrest across town. so i drove to see you and we embraced and made love in your twin bed...and we cuddled for an hour afterward and just talked about everything. i fucking miss you so much. written word cannot express the depth of my love for you. written word cannot caress your face the way my hand can. written word has such power and yet it falls short when attempting to convey my true and real emotions for you.
i am glad you are keeping busy inside the prison....it sounds like fun, though i know you can't wait to come home. i can't wait to have you home too...though i am enjoying my freedom. paul wants to come over every day but i am so engrossed in rearranging the house and enjoying my alone time that i turn him down but twice a week. LOL
though i did go with him to his parents' house this past weekend - it's in magnolia and they have a pool. he had to mow the expansive lawn, and i decided to get some swimming done in private. i don't like swimming in public, and their pool is surrounded by a large amount of grass and tall trees. Basically paul was the only one able to see me. And when we arrived, there was a SNAKE and a FROG in the pool! how cool is that?!? i got the snake out (after he tried for ten minutes and couldn't seem to get it done)...then i got the frog out and it was SO COOL. Then I swam for a couple hours and floated....stared at the tree tops and the clouds floating by. It was so peaceful.
I received your letter - I hope you got the books I sent!! I am falling asleep now, my love, so I must go. But I will write more soon.
Your forever and always;
Harley
Monday, July 22, 2013
Comfort and Love!
I tossed and turned all night and basically got 2.5 hours of sleep. It was awful. I did dream of a coworker who is pregnant and my Batman....it was solid sleep.
I woke up to the original Batman tv show theme song. In my hazy stupor I clutched my phone and even before I consciously registered the call, I was smiling. My Batsy was calling me!! I hadn't heard from him in five days, and all I thought was the worst. And I was depressed and I missed him. Shit....I wrote him that letter last night!
This Monday morning I woke up happy and content and talking to my Love. I can't even describe the excitement and happiness and comfort his phone call brought to me. Perhaps my cerebrum was enveloped in a lavender vanilla scented aura. Plumped pillows of REM danced across my head. Maybe it was luck that he phoned when he did....but maybe not.
Batsy, I can't wait till you're back home. My love for you rivals the depth of the oceanic abyss. My devotion spans thousands of miles. You are my heart.
OOOOPS! Forgot to put money on the phone...!
Batsy...OMG I am so so
sorry!! I didn't realize I was running out of phone money and I didn't
get a call from the offender connect or anything. I have been worried
SICK all weekend about you!! I was waiting for a call thursday, friday,
saturday and today. i checked my phone logs obsessively. i kept
telling myself you were waiting because you knew i had to budget....then
tonight i couldn't stand it anymore and checked offender connect...and i
had under a dollar on it! holy shit i am so so sorry!! i am SO glad
you're not dead or something....I hated hearing that you had such a
reaction to the fish....I have been worried that you're in anaphylactic
shock and they didn't call me for some reason....UGH.
Exhusband is leaving Tuesday morning for a square state to see the kids for a single day before heading to the Mediterranian. I am dropping him off at the airport around 4am or so....should be fun. not. it's entirely surreal. mom is paying for his flight and has stopped bugging me about the money for babysitting....she knows we are tapped out and are fighting to stay afloat as it is. exhusband and i get a final paycheck this week for both of us, then he will get paid once a month on the 5th or something. it's gonna be a struggle, but we will do what we have to do. at least i'm still paid every other week....so there's something coming in between times. but august is going to truly suck. worse than before. i will give you what i can - probably $30 every other week, tops....and some phone time....i am so sick about money right now i just want to cry. it'll be better soon, but still.
my former coworker may be coming to stay with me. she and her bf haven't been all that friendly in over a year. they had a baby together anyway but now he says he needs his space and she doesn't have anywhere else to go. the baby is 10 months old and a sweetie pie. so maybe she and i would make good roommates. i dunno. we shall see. i will be moving your tv and dvr into the master suite and preparing your room for someone else I guess. because i will need the help or something....
goddamn it baby i miss you. i have been dreaming of you all weekend. we saw a movie and went to the beach and made love. i broke down and relieved tension with you know who last night. it wasn't as fulfilling as i needed....i simply don't love him. and it's just sex. there's no emotional relief....and due to that there's minimal physical relief. i just want you home. i want to make love to you in bed and make love to you on the couch....i want to make out with you in the kitchen while we make dinner and do the dishes. i want to make out with you in the laundry room....make love in the shower....bite your flesh and lick your neck. i want to run my fingers through your hair while you do the same for me.
i love you, my darling....my heart aches that you cannot be near to me. i want you and need you home with me. i am so damn sorry about the phone thing. i wish i had known i was short....i am hating myself right now for it all. i made you doubt me, and i made myself think the worst. i did nothing to promote trust and desire that will conquer the distance between us. know this - no matter what happens, the distance between you and i is physically great, but emotionally we are together always. you hold my heart in your hands. your voice melts me from head to toe. when we talk on the phone, i close my eyes so that i can drink you in through my ears and nestle you into my cerebrum. You are with me every waking moment of every day, and i fall asleep thinking of you at night.
i hope you got the photos, and i hope they bring you happiness....as much as you can have in prison without being able to touch me and all the other people you love. i want to take the pink dripping bat symbol you created and make it into a harley quinn one....black and red....with blood red drops mixed with black diamonds maybe. i don't know. i love it but i am not a huge fan of pink. baby i love you so much. i can't say that enough or with adequate enthusiasm or emphasis. it simply isn't enough to write it down. i can't wait to tell you in person!!! The guards will have to peel me off of you! *sigh*
i have to go admin these facebook pages. nobody cares to do it after ten pm, and the internet is a 24 hour thing. gosh darn it. at least after a bit i can schedule posts. i have fallen behind on the blog, as it takes a while to transcribe your notes to me. i leave out the money talk and the talk of which facility you are in. because it's silly to post that shit online. which means that the notes you write to me are woefully small....but i don't care. they are heartfelt.
you are a good man. you are MY good man. and you can get past this speed bump in the road. i am sorry that i am the only person who loves you enough to help you.....i wish you had more friends that are close....and willing to be supportive.....i am starting to crumble under the pressure. i am so sorry. i will do everything i can until you are back in my arms. i have to admit - i will likely lean heavily on you for a bit after you are out. i won't want to let you out of my sight. i will kick your ass out the door to get to work and make money....i will make you save money....work on getting your own place....because it has to be that way. but i will visit you and you can come over and stay whenever. i will never turn my honey batger away....i love you.
i love you...i love you...I LOVE YOU!!
Harls
Exhusband is leaving Tuesday morning for a square state to see the kids for a single day before heading to the Mediterranian. I am dropping him off at the airport around 4am or so....should be fun. not. it's entirely surreal. mom is paying for his flight and has stopped bugging me about the money for babysitting....she knows we are tapped out and are fighting to stay afloat as it is. exhusband and i get a final paycheck this week for both of us, then he will get paid once a month on the 5th or something. it's gonna be a struggle, but we will do what we have to do. at least i'm still paid every other week....so there's something coming in between times. but august is going to truly suck. worse than before. i will give you what i can - probably $30 every other week, tops....and some phone time....i am so sick about money right now i just want to cry. it'll be better soon, but still.
my former coworker may be coming to stay with me. she and her bf haven't been all that friendly in over a year. they had a baby together anyway but now he says he needs his space and she doesn't have anywhere else to go. the baby is 10 months old and a sweetie pie. so maybe she and i would make good roommates. i dunno. we shall see. i will be moving your tv and dvr into the master suite and preparing your room for someone else I guess. because i will need the help or something....
goddamn it baby i miss you. i have been dreaming of you all weekend. we saw a movie and went to the beach and made love. i broke down and relieved tension with you know who last night. it wasn't as fulfilling as i needed....i simply don't love him. and it's just sex. there's no emotional relief....and due to that there's minimal physical relief. i just want you home. i want to make love to you in bed and make love to you on the couch....i want to make out with you in the kitchen while we make dinner and do the dishes. i want to make out with you in the laundry room....make love in the shower....bite your flesh and lick your neck. i want to run my fingers through your hair while you do the same for me.
i love you, my darling....my heart aches that you cannot be near to me. i want you and need you home with me. i am so damn sorry about the phone thing. i wish i had known i was short....i am hating myself right now for it all. i made you doubt me, and i made myself think the worst. i did nothing to promote trust and desire that will conquer the distance between us. know this - no matter what happens, the distance between you and i is physically great, but emotionally we are together always. you hold my heart in your hands. your voice melts me from head to toe. when we talk on the phone, i close my eyes so that i can drink you in through my ears and nestle you into my cerebrum. You are with me every waking moment of every day, and i fall asleep thinking of you at night.
i hope you got the photos, and i hope they bring you happiness....as much as you can have in prison without being able to touch me and all the other people you love. i want to take the pink dripping bat symbol you created and make it into a harley quinn one....black and red....with blood red drops mixed with black diamonds maybe. i don't know. i love it but i am not a huge fan of pink. baby i love you so much. i can't say that enough or with adequate enthusiasm or emphasis. it simply isn't enough to write it down. i can't wait to tell you in person!!! The guards will have to peel me off of you! *sigh*
i have to go admin these facebook pages. nobody cares to do it after ten pm, and the internet is a 24 hour thing. gosh darn it. at least after a bit i can schedule posts. i have fallen behind on the blog, as it takes a while to transcribe your notes to me. i leave out the money talk and the talk of which facility you are in. because it's silly to post that shit online. which means that the notes you write to me are woefully small....but i don't care. they are heartfelt.
you are a good man. you are MY good man. and you can get past this speed bump in the road. i am sorry that i am the only person who loves you enough to help you.....i wish you had more friends that are close....and willing to be supportive.....i am starting to crumble under the pressure. i am so sorry. i will do everything i can until you are back in my arms. i have to admit - i will likely lean heavily on you for a bit after you are out. i won't want to let you out of my sight. i will kick your ass out the door to get to work and make money....i will make you save money....work on getting your own place....because it has to be that way. but i will visit you and you can come over and stay whenever. i will never turn my honey batger away....i love you.
i love you...i love you...I LOVE YOU!!
Harls
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
anxiety attack mail :(
oh batman i need you so
much....i am staring at this blank screen and feel so overwhelmed and
like every fuse in my brain has been tripped.....i am not making
connections or stringing words to make a sentence in my head.
so many things....your fish allergy causing you to break out in hives (good god i hope you don't go into anaphylactic shock out there!)...me potentially not making it up to visit due to cost problems.....oh shit baby i need to see you and feel you.
i have been watching Orange is the new Black and it is helping me to understand maybe a little of how prison life is. it sounds dumb but it is based on a true story and all the things you tell me seem to be the same on the show. it's a netflix only thing so i know you won't get to see it till you're out. the visitation room....the bathrooms/showers....the guards....the beds. when i watch it i feel closer to you. and i want to do so many things to be closer to you.
please don't get in trouble. please don't do anything to cause ripples. come home as soon as you can. come home to me. come home to our house and our dog and our life.
i need to be selfish right now. i need you to put your strong arms around me and stroke my hair and hold me and tell me i am beautiful. tell me i am strong and i can make it through this. run a finger down my cheek and brush away the tears from my eyes. don't be upset that i am crying....know that it is the stress leaving my body and kiss the tears away. let me sob into your shoulder. hold me close - skin on skin - and breathe into me your love and your devotion and your compassion. give to me what i give to you....let us reciprocate in the union of our bodies.
i haven't had sex in three weeks or so. i don't even care. i don't want anyone right now. paul has texted me asking why i haven't talked to him or gone over. he asks if i am ok, because he knows i am overwhelmed. he knows he isn't necessary in my life and wants to remain friends. i can't get up the energy to go see him. he came over for pizza and spaceballs the other night and left right after. even though scott wasn't home. he tells me it's like i am a shell of who i was. i told him i don't blame him if he never wants to see me again, since i am basically abusing our friendship by being noncommittal and unresponsive.
both of my pillows are covered in your t-shirts. i even wear one to sleep sometimes. batman i love you so much. my heart aches for you. i know you're bored and alone and missing me....at camp snoopy...and you need things to make your stay easier. i will do all i can, but i can't do more.
i need to go find the tracking number. i promised i would put it in the email and i forgot it in the car....be right back....don't wait too long LOL
OH
i dreamed of you last night. you came to me as lightly as a fairy on a
pillow and we slept together, spooning, all night. i woke up sad and
stiff. but that dream was simply divine. i love you. i love your
clown tattoos. i love your sister's tattoo. i love your eyes - how
they dance when you smile. i love your facial hair and your lack of
facial hair - i love your face. i love your neck and your teeth and
your hands.....all of you baby. you are my handsome gentleman. my
knight in scuffed-up armor. i never wanted shining armor anyway - means
it hasn't been properly broken in.
ok i really am going to get the tracking number now. BRB ok....i have the receipt....logging on to the usps now....DAMMIT says 'delivery status notification not available via website.' grrrrr calling the 800 number now.....ugh it says it was processed through and left at a facility at 10pm on 7/17. it is currently in transit to the destination. woot! you shall have it soon, my love! Stupid website still says 'expect delivery by july 15, 2013'...ARGH
darling i must sleep now. so today you get this letter and maybe even the pictures! i can't wait to hear from you! i do have to focus on scott on friday....it IS his last night in town for a minimum of four months. so call me tonight or saturday.
i love you i love you i love you.....be well
your harlequin princess
so many things....your fish allergy causing you to break out in hives (good god i hope you don't go into anaphylactic shock out there!)...me potentially not making it up to visit due to cost problems.....oh shit baby i need to see you and feel you.
i have been watching Orange is the new Black and it is helping me to understand maybe a little of how prison life is. it sounds dumb but it is based on a true story and all the things you tell me seem to be the same on the show. it's a netflix only thing so i know you won't get to see it till you're out. the visitation room....the bathrooms/showers....the guards....the beds. when i watch it i feel closer to you. and i want to do so many things to be closer to you.
please don't get in trouble. please don't do anything to cause ripples. come home as soon as you can. come home to me. come home to our house and our dog and our life.
i need to be selfish right now. i need you to put your strong arms around me and stroke my hair and hold me and tell me i am beautiful. tell me i am strong and i can make it through this. run a finger down my cheek and brush away the tears from my eyes. don't be upset that i am crying....know that it is the stress leaving my body and kiss the tears away. let me sob into your shoulder. hold me close - skin on skin - and breathe into me your love and your devotion and your compassion. give to me what i give to you....let us reciprocate in the union of our bodies.
i haven't had sex in three weeks or so. i don't even care. i don't want anyone right now. paul has texted me asking why i haven't talked to him or gone over. he asks if i am ok, because he knows i am overwhelmed. he knows he isn't necessary in my life and wants to remain friends. i can't get up the energy to go see him. he came over for pizza and spaceballs the other night and left right after. even though scott wasn't home. he tells me it's like i am a shell of who i was. i told him i don't blame him if he never wants to see me again, since i am basically abusing our friendship by being noncommittal and unresponsive.
both of my pillows are covered in your t-shirts. i even wear one to sleep sometimes. batman i love you so much. my heart aches for you. i know you're bored and alone and missing me....at camp snoopy...and you need things to make your stay easier. i will do all i can, but i can't do more.
i need to go find the tracking number. i promised i would put it in the email and i forgot it in the car....be right back....don't wait too long LOL
ok i really am going to get the tracking number now. BRB ok....i have the receipt....logging on to the usps now....DAMMIT says 'delivery status notification not available via website.' grrrrr calling the 800 number now.....ugh it says it was processed through and left at a facility at 10pm on 7/17. it is currently in transit to the destination. woot! you shall have it soon, my love! Stupid website still says 'expect delivery by july 15, 2013'...ARGH
darling i must sleep now. so today you get this letter and maybe even the pictures! i can't wait to hear from you! i do have to focus on scott on friday....it IS his last night in town for a minimum of four months. so call me tonight or saturday.
i love you i love you i love you.....be well
your harlequin princess
Friday, July 12, 2013
Interim
I have written my honey bat-ger since the last one...and we have spoken on the phone...and he has written me two letters since. but there is a lot going on right now and unfortunately i am too exhausted and stressed out to write it all down right now. i need sleep and i am on call, so i will be back to posting shortly i hope.
just know that i love my batsy with all my heart and i miss him so much.....
just know that i love my batsy with all my heart and i miss him so much.....
Sunday, July 7, 2013
ACK! A Naughty Letter!
My tall, dark and handsome
Batman.....hmmmmm so i am to send you a naughty letter, huh? i am a
little timid, since it will obviously be read by someone before it
arrives in your big, sexy hand. argh! ok. i love you, so i will do my
best. please don't judge it too harshly! Understand this is 100%
fiction! it is NOT based on any real events, simply on the stories i
have read over the years and (of course) how much i love you......oh
sweetie i do love you so much.....rrrrrrrrrgh. whew. ok. here we
go.....blah!
it is a dark and stormy night. the rain slams against the window pane as the wind throws the branches around outside. i am lying in bed, waiting for you to come home. you've been on the road for a week now and i know we are both craving the touch of each others' body....the scent of each others' flesh. my pussy moistens as i think of you, and i close my eyes and moan a little, arching my back to feel my breasts rearrange their weight on my chest. a flash of electricity thrums through my clitoris as a slight breeze causes my nipples to harden further. the breeze was caused by you coming in through the back door. any minute now and i will feel your hands on my breasts and your mouth on my lips. Oooooh i can smell the excitement in my pussy...it is so delicious i swirl my finger in the juices and run my finger over my tongue so i can lap up the happiness...
you try to enter the room quietly but you're soaking wet and tired from a long drive. i leap from the bed and fling myself upon you, clamping my lips over yours and sending my tongue searching for yours in your mouth. you kiss me back, lovingly and deeply. your tongue probing my mouth and dancing with my tongue. my warm naked breasts press into your cold, wet clothing and it drives my excitement further. without breaking the kiss, i furiously help you remove your soggy clothing until all that is between us is electrons. my warm body pressed into your chilly one, enlivening your skin with my warmth and softness.
at last, i break the kiss to get your pants off - i kiss down your chest and your belly. your boxers pulled down and your hard cock pops out. i squeal with delight as i stroke it a couple of times....watching the head appear and disappear in your foreskin. You gasp with the tangible pleasures i am giving you, and i lean in to kiss the head as it is once more unsheathed. your large hand is entangling in my hair as i give your shaft a long, flat lick...finishing with the tip of my tongue dragging through the bead of pre-cum on the tip. I pull away, tongue out, letting the precum form a strand between your cock head and my tongue. My eyes turn to your face, and you are looking at me with glazed eyes, jaw slack. I love that look....it means i am making you unbelievably happy. and that is what i want.
i lead you to the bed and you lie down. i tell you how much i have missed you and how much i love you, and then i ask you to tell me about your trip as i play with your cock. stroking the shaft with my left hand, and playing with your balls with my right, my tongue goes to work licking and sucking on the whole shaft. letting the spit build up in my mouth, i suck firmly but not too hard on you. light tugging on your balls makes you moan with pleasure. the spit is rolling down your balls into your ass crack and you start thrusting into my mouth. i beg you to fuck my face and you grab my hair and pump your hips with gusto, slamming your thick cock into the back of my throat. my teeth accidentally scrape the shaft, but you keep going. my mouth is so wet you can't stand it for long, so after five minutes or so you thrust one final time into my mouth and cum so hard....so fast....i can hardly keep up! i swallow and lick and suck and swallow again, but you keep cumming....it oozes out of my mouth and down my chin. you look at me and my wide blue eyes with a sleepy smile, and use your finger to scoop up some cum from my chin. you feed it to me and i suck your finger and your cock clean.
at this point, i slide up next to you and put my head on your chest so i can listen to your heart. we exchange 'i love you's and soft kisses. your heart rhythm slows from the excitement of orgasm to the regular rhythm of sleep. your breaths become deeper; more even. you begin to snore lightly. i hold tight to you, appreciating every moment i have with you. i love you, baby. i love you so much.
next letter like this i will write about penetration lol....for now i have to go to sleep. i love you, i love you, i love you.
be good! do everything you can to come home to me, my sweet. my heart aches to be near you again. to feel your body. to love you with all i have.
all my love;
harls
it is a dark and stormy night. the rain slams against the window pane as the wind throws the branches around outside. i am lying in bed, waiting for you to come home. you've been on the road for a week now and i know we are both craving the touch of each others' body....the scent of each others' flesh. my pussy moistens as i think of you, and i close my eyes and moan a little, arching my back to feel my breasts rearrange their weight on my chest. a flash of electricity thrums through my clitoris as a slight breeze causes my nipples to harden further. the breeze was caused by you coming in through the back door. any minute now and i will feel your hands on my breasts and your mouth on my lips. Oooooh i can smell the excitement in my pussy...it is so delicious i swirl my finger in the juices and run my finger over my tongue so i can lap up the happiness...
you try to enter the room quietly but you're soaking wet and tired from a long drive. i leap from the bed and fling myself upon you, clamping my lips over yours and sending my tongue searching for yours in your mouth. you kiss me back, lovingly and deeply. your tongue probing my mouth and dancing with my tongue. my warm naked breasts press into your cold, wet clothing and it drives my excitement further. without breaking the kiss, i furiously help you remove your soggy clothing until all that is between us is electrons. my warm body pressed into your chilly one, enlivening your skin with my warmth and softness.
at last, i break the kiss to get your pants off - i kiss down your chest and your belly. your boxers pulled down and your hard cock pops out. i squeal with delight as i stroke it a couple of times....watching the head appear and disappear in your foreskin. You gasp with the tangible pleasures i am giving you, and i lean in to kiss the head as it is once more unsheathed. your large hand is entangling in my hair as i give your shaft a long, flat lick...finishing with the tip of my tongue dragging through the bead of pre-cum on the tip. I pull away, tongue out, letting the precum form a strand between your cock head and my tongue. My eyes turn to your face, and you are looking at me with glazed eyes, jaw slack. I love that look....it means i am making you unbelievably happy. and that is what i want.
i lead you to the bed and you lie down. i tell you how much i have missed you and how much i love you, and then i ask you to tell me about your trip as i play with your cock. stroking the shaft with my left hand, and playing with your balls with my right, my tongue goes to work licking and sucking on the whole shaft. letting the spit build up in my mouth, i suck firmly but not too hard on you. light tugging on your balls makes you moan with pleasure. the spit is rolling down your balls into your ass crack and you start thrusting into my mouth. i beg you to fuck my face and you grab my hair and pump your hips with gusto, slamming your thick cock into the back of my throat. my teeth accidentally scrape the shaft, but you keep going. my mouth is so wet you can't stand it for long, so after five minutes or so you thrust one final time into my mouth and cum so hard....so fast....i can hardly keep up! i swallow and lick and suck and swallow again, but you keep cumming....it oozes out of my mouth and down my chin. you look at me and my wide blue eyes with a sleepy smile, and use your finger to scoop up some cum from my chin. you feed it to me and i suck your finger and your cock clean.
at this point, i slide up next to you and put my head on your chest so i can listen to your heart. we exchange 'i love you's and soft kisses. your heart rhythm slows from the excitement of orgasm to the regular rhythm of sleep. your breaths become deeper; more even. you begin to snore lightly. i hold tight to you, appreciating every moment i have with you. i love you, baby. i love you so much.
next letter like this i will write about penetration lol....for now i have to go to sleep. i love you, i love you, i love you.
be good! do everything you can to come home to me, my sweet. my heart aches to be near you again. to feel your body. to love you with all i have.
all my love;
harls
Short N Sweet
My effervescent Batsy;
Your voice soothes me when nothing else can Since you've arrived at your destination, the relief in your voice is simply refreshing. Your outlook has improved and it makes me so happy. You got a letter from a friend in the mail this week....i wasn't sure if i could forward it or anything, and so I held onto it until I gave up trying to find out and just opened it. Turns out he has been writing you letters and they've all been returned to him. I was gonna ask if I could maybe send him a note and let him know what's up with you. He's lonely and misses you. And he said for you to say hi to me which was sweet. LOL
I haven't gotten my nails done this pay period since I had to get my oil changed - $70 for a frickin oil change! I did get the synthetic blend oil, but that only cost $10 more than a normal oil change. What happened to the $20 ten minute oil changes?!? UGH. Oh well....
I got some vinyl decals in the mail for Penelope....a Bat Symbol and and Arkham Asylum symbol. Those are going on her today! I also made a couple of bracelets that I am totally loving....I need to make matching necklaces now. So I can look like I match. hehe
Work has been hella-sad lately. We've diagnosed six dogs with lymphoma in the last week or so. All of them very advanced. And two with T-cell lymphoma, which is not very responsive to chemo. We have also diagnosed two cats with end stage cancers....and a dog with a spinal tumor that is inoperable so we kept her on life support for 14 hours until her whole family could come say goodbye. the tumor grew so rapidly that she went downhill over 72 hours to the point where her diaphragm wasn't getting signals from her brain to breathe, and so she was suffocating to death.
I know this letter isn't very long - I will try to send another tonight because i love you so much and i have much more to say. But I have a pizza in the oven and need to take it out....
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!
Your voice soothes me when nothing else can Since you've arrived at your destination, the relief in your voice is simply refreshing. Your outlook has improved and it makes me so happy. You got a letter from a friend in the mail this week....i wasn't sure if i could forward it or anything, and so I held onto it until I gave up trying to find out and just opened it. Turns out he has been writing you letters and they've all been returned to him. I was gonna ask if I could maybe send him a note and let him know what's up with you. He's lonely and misses you. And he said for you to say hi to me which was sweet. LOL
I haven't gotten my nails done this pay period since I had to get my oil changed - $70 for a frickin oil change! I did get the synthetic blend oil, but that only cost $10 more than a normal oil change. What happened to the $20 ten minute oil changes?!? UGH. Oh well....
I got some vinyl decals in the mail for Penelope....a Bat Symbol and and Arkham Asylum symbol. Those are going on her today! I also made a couple of bracelets that I am totally loving....I need to make matching necklaces now. So I can look like I match. hehe
Work has been hella-sad lately. We've diagnosed six dogs with lymphoma in the last week or so. All of them very advanced. And two with T-cell lymphoma, which is not very responsive to chemo. We have also diagnosed two cats with end stage cancers....and a dog with a spinal tumor that is inoperable so we kept her on life support for 14 hours until her whole family could come say goodbye. the tumor grew so rapidly that she went downhill over 72 hours to the point where her diaphragm wasn't getting signals from her brain to breathe, and so she was suffocating to death.
I know this letter isn't very long - I will try to send another tonight because i love you so much and i have much more to say. But I have a pizza in the oven and need to take it out....
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Love Letter Received
My Dearest Harley!
I miss you so much! I just know that one day we are going to be in each others' arms again and that will be such a beautiful thing! I have my good moments and my bad moments on my emotional struggle on believing that you won't give up on me. I know you mean what you say and I do not doubt you in the slightest! I have trouble with believing myself and that is because of my past. Not only because of the way I have been treated but because of my own mistakes as well. I have troubles sometimes forgiving myself. I am getting much better at it because you have been such a wonderful support! Because of you, I truly know what love is!
Well, I am gonna try and call later tonight! Hopefully I get through!
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Yours Forever and Always!
Batman
I miss you so much! I just know that one day we are going to be in each others' arms again and that will be such a beautiful thing! I have my good moments and my bad moments on my emotional struggle on believing that you won't give up on me. I know you mean what you say and I do not doubt you in the slightest! I have trouble with believing myself and that is because of my past. Not only because of the way I have been treated but because of my own mistakes as well. I have troubles sometimes forgiving myself. I am getting much better at it because you have been such a wonderful support! Because of you, I truly know what love is!
Well, I am gonna try and call later tonight! Hopefully I get through!
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Yours Forever and Always!
Batman
Friday, June 28, 2013
Bad Day :(
My Honey Bat-ger;
your phone calls always light up my day. i am so in love with you....everything about you is SO worth loving. Know this always and forever, my darling. i feel so fortunate that you are mine and i am yours. your love is pure as driven snow. i feel like i am too sullied and scared and jaded for you. but i know you've known pain as well, and rejection and unfair bias. and so my imperfections are just a part of the person you love. as your imperfections make you who you are, which is the man i adore and love with all my heart.
i hope it is ok that i am publishing our letters in a blog. of course the names are changed....gotta protect people, innocent or otherwise. i also usually draw at least one picture in the Paint program on the laptop. the pics are crude at best, but they get the point across. i don't have a real mouse to use and so i am using the touch pad. UGH no bueno. lol (i included one i drew last week, just to show you what sort of crap i am publishing)
SO let's move on to my stories of work, because that seems to be all encompassing today for me. last week, we had a little american bulldog who was very sick. she had a non-regenerative anemia (low red cells) and wasn't eating. after days of various diagnostics, we finally got down to doing a bone marrow biopsy. this involves her being under anesthesia and we basically gouge out a cylinder of bone and marrow (bone marrow is mainly liquid, contrary to my initial assumptions before i was in medicine). long story short, she has end stage lymphoma and her owner was in spain. yeah - THAT spain. across the pond. so the owner's mom and girlfriend decide to go forward with chemotherapy. just to see if they can get her to live long enough for her owner to come home. well, she responded very well to the chemo and although she is FAR from remission (and she won't ever get there....let's be honest here)....she came in today for another dose of chemo. she was jumping around and wagging her tail and doing a little bully-dog dance. it was refreshing.
last week we placed a feeding tube in her esophagus/throat and she was being fed via the tube. her owners said she was eating and drinking very well on her own, and wanted the tube out. the doc said 'not yet' and so i went to change the bandage....and i sliced the tip of the tube off completely. this was the culmination of my shitty day/week. so we ended up having to pull the tube completely and although the owners were thrilled, i am mortified. ashamed. and i feel like a complete idiot.
so what did i do? i asked for a raise. not kidding. i emailed my supervisor and asked if i would be getting a yearly review and possibly a raise. i acknowledged my persistent 2-minute-late time stamps and all the overtime and extra projects i have done for the clinic. i mentioned the clinic's success and the fact that nobody has gotten a raise except those who have threatened to quit, and that feeds the low morale of the support staff who are always working their butts off without complaint. my supervisor emailed me back and said we will talk next week. whew.
exhusband got the call with the official offer....he will be making a lot more than before. plus more for being overseas. that's good...he should be making enough to pay the bills and save some too. whew. he and i have discussed schedule, child care, and everything we can. he will probably be gone end of august. :/ it's scary but i am looking forward to it. though now i can't have him do the dishes....the boys can. one can empty and one can load and i can do the counters. woot!
ok baby.....i need to work on that sketch a little before i forget. and i have been meaning to get some beading done and make some new jewelry. i really need to focus on that now. i love you so much....so damn much. i hate to think you are in there alone, five foot from a kill fence....without me. i wish i could sneak in and snuggle with you for a few hours. kiss you deeply and feel your tongue dance against mine. your arms wrapped around me, making me feel so safe and secure. protected and warm. sigh. oh nathan i love you.
always yours;
harley jane
your phone calls always light up my day. i am so in love with you....everything about you is SO worth loving. Know this always and forever, my darling. i feel so fortunate that you are mine and i am yours. your love is pure as driven snow. i feel like i am too sullied and scared and jaded for you. but i know you've known pain as well, and rejection and unfair bias. and so my imperfections are just a part of the person you love. as your imperfections make you who you are, which is the man i adore and love with all my heart.
i hope it is ok that i am publishing our letters in a blog. of course the names are changed....gotta protect people, innocent or otherwise. i also usually draw at least one picture in the Paint program on the laptop. the pics are crude at best, but they get the point across. i don't have a real mouse to use and so i am using the touch pad. UGH no bueno. lol (i included one i drew last week, just to show you what sort of crap i am publishing)
SO let's move on to my stories of work, because that seems to be all encompassing today for me. last week, we had a little american bulldog who was very sick. she had a non-regenerative anemia (low red cells) and wasn't eating. after days of various diagnostics, we finally got down to doing a bone marrow biopsy. this involves her being under anesthesia and we basically gouge out a cylinder of bone and marrow (bone marrow is mainly liquid, contrary to my initial assumptions before i was in medicine). long story short, she has end stage lymphoma and her owner was in spain. yeah - THAT spain. across the pond. so the owner's mom and girlfriend decide to go forward with chemotherapy. just to see if they can get her to live long enough for her owner to come home. well, she responded very well to the chemo and although she is FAR from remission (and she won't ever get there....let's be honest here)....she came in today for another dose of chemo. she was jumping around and wagging her tail and doing a little bully-dog dance. it was refreshing.
last week we placed a feeding tube in her esophagus/throat and she was being fed via the tube. her owners said she was eating and drinking very well on her own, and wanted the tube out. the doc said 'not yet' and so i went to change the bandage....and i sliced the tip of the tube off completely. this was the culmination of my shitty day/week. so we ended up having to pull the tube completely and although the owners were thrilled, i am mortified. ashamed. and i feel like a complete idiot.
so what did i do? i asked for a raise. not kidding. i emailed my supervisor and asked if i would be getting a yearly review and possibly a raise. i acknowledged my persistent 2-minute-late time stamps and all the overtime and extra projects i have done for the clinic. i mentioned the clinic's success and the fact that nobody has gotten a raise except those who have threatened to quit, and that feeds the low morale of the support staff who are always working their butts off without complaint. my supervisor emailed me back and said we will talk next week. whew.
exhusband got the call with the official offer....he will be making a lot more than before. plus more for being overseas. that's good...he should be making enough to pay the bills and save some too. whew. he and i have discussed schedule, child care, and everything we can. he will probably be gone end of august. :/ it's scary but i am looking forward to it. though now i can't have him do the dishes....the boys can. one can empty and one can load and i can do the counters. woot!
ok baby.....i need to work on that sketch a little before i forget. and i have been meaning to get some beading done and make some new jewelry. i really need to focus on that now. i love you so much....so damn much. i hate to think you are in there alone, five foot from a kill fence....without me. i wish i could sneak in and snuggle with you for a few hours. kiss you deeply and feel your tongue dance against mine. your arms wrapped around me, making me feel so safe and secure. protected and warm. sigh. oh nathan i love you.
always yours;
harley jane
Letter 3...BatMAAAANNNN
June 20, 2013
My Beautiful Villainess Harley!
here i am, writing you again even though I just sent you a letter earlier today and talked to you on the phone! i cannot stop thinking about you for one second and that's such a wonderful thing! in alomost everything i read, see or hear i keep thinking of you. for example...at this very moment, the miami heat and the san antonio spurs are playing in game 7 of the nba finals. i want san antonion to win because it's texas! when i think texas, i think of my home with you! home is where the heart is, and my heart is 100% with you. i love you so much baby!
like i told you earlier, i keep reading your letters over and over. they help me sleep and i can almost hear your voice through them every time. i was laughing my ass off when reading about piggie being a high stepping fool in the dog booties! then i damn near cried hearing about you almost having heat stroke from yard work because i should be there helping you!
i wish i had stories to tell you, but not much happens while in 23 hour lock down. i don't have much of a view out of my cell window. i see some dead grass, then about a 5 foot stretch of gravel before you get to a "KILL FENCE" that is about 12 feet high covered from the ground up with razor wire. and i think it is also electrified with motion sensors.! i remember seeing a bird fly into something similar in Buena Vista awhile back....we ate 'friend chicken' the next day! LMFAO!
look on the bright side...the boys will never have to go to a 'scared straight' program. they'll have me to tell them all about this! LOL I am just trying to be funny I guess...if it's not i am sorry.
hey, you should print out some lyrics to some songs. i don't really care which just so long as i know them. In This Moment, Halestorm, Five Finger Death Punch, Adele, Bruno Mars, and even stuff you like :)
also - you know how much i miss you, houston, and everybody there. take pictures of everything and anything! i miss it so much and i would much rather have a collage of pictures of houston than looking at gay-ass colorado. LOL
well, i am going to try and do a little Bible study before lights out...there's really no set bedtime and i can turn my own light off and on in here. Anyway, always remember you are on my mind! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Your dark knight
My Beautiful Villainess Harley!
here i am, writing you again even though I just sent you a letter earlier today and talked to you on the phone! i cannot stop thinking about you for one second and that's such a wonderful thing! in alomost everything i read, see or hear i keep thinking of you. for example...at this very moment, the miami heat and the san antonio spurs are playing in game 7 of the nba finals. i want san antonion to win because it's texas! when i think texas, i think of my home with you! home is where the heart is, and my heart is 100% with you. i love you so much baby!
like i told you earlier, i keep reading your letters over and over. they help me sleep and i can almost hear your voice through them every time. i was laughing my ass off when reading about piggie being a high stepping fool in the dog booties! then i damn near cried hearing about you almost having heat stroke from yard work because i should be there helping you!
i wish i had stories to tell you, but not much happens while in 23 hour lock down. i don't have much of a view out of my cell window. i see some dead grass, then about a 5 foot stretch of gravel before you get to a "KILL FENCE" that is about 12 feet high covered from the ground up with razor wire. and i think it is also electrified with motion sensors.! i remember seeing a bird fly into something similar in Buena Vista awhile back....we ate 'friend chicken' the next day! LMFAO!
look on the bright side...the boys will never have to go to a 'scared straight' program. they'll have me to tell them all about this! LOL I am just trying to be funny I guess...if it's not i am sorry.
hey, you should print out some lyrics to some songs. i don't really care which just so long as i know them. In This Moment, Halestorm, Five Finger Death Punch, Adele, Bruno Mars, and even stuff you like :)
also - you know how much i miss you, houston, and everybody there. take pictures of everything and anything! i miss it so much and i would much rather have a collage of pictures of houston than looking at gay-ass colorado. LOL
well, i am going to try and do a little Bible study before lights out...there's really no set bedtime and i can turn my own light off and on in here. Anyway, always remember you are on my mind! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Your dark knight
Letter 2 from Batman
June 20, 2013
My Darling Harley,
i got your 3rd letter today and it made me have a huge cheesy grin! i love you so much baby! the way you write and bring your stories to such a beautiful light makes me so happy. the quotes you gave me from F Scott Fitzgerald and Sandra Kring were hitting the nail on the head!
again, to reiterate myself, my love for you reached unfathomable depths. you mean the world to me and every day i thank God for you being a part of my life. last night i laid awake thinking that the life i have had only led me straight to you. even though i have messed up, it all happened for a reason. YOU! i would not have such a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, witty and faithful soul mate if my life had been lived different until now. you have shown me what it means to be trulyy me and not hold back my faults. i can be 100% honest and open with you and not face ridicule or shame. God, I LOVE YOU!
Well, babe, it is almost time to hustle to the phone and try to call you! I hope you can answer! LOL if not, there's always Saturday or Sunday morning if we get our out time!
Forever your Batman!
My Darling Harley,
i got your 3rd letter today and it made me have a huge cheesy grin! i love you so much baby! the way you write and bring your stories to such a beautiful light makes me so happy. the quotes you gave me from F Scott Fitzgerald and Sandra Kring were hitting the nail on the head!
again, to reiterate myself, my love for you reached unfathomable depths. you mean the world to me and every day i thank God for you being a part of my life. last night i laid awake thinking that the life i have had only led me straight to you. even though i have messed up, it all happened for a reason. YOU! i would not have such a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, witty and faithful soul mate if my life had been lived different until now. you have shown me what it means to be trulyy me and not hold back my faults. i can be 100% honest and open with you and not face ridicule or shame. God, I LOVE YOU!
Well, babe, it is almost time to hustle to the phone and try to call you! I hope you can answer! LOL if not, there's always Saturday or Sunday morning if we get our out time!
Forever your Batman!
 | |
| he always draws a bat symbol where he signs his name. how cute!! |
Love Letter
My sexy, amazing, loving, and loyal Batman;
I finally got your letters!!! (this is saved from what I wrote Tuesday) I worry about you, my love. I am aching over here in stupid Texas while you are in stupid Colorado. I did think the joke you told about the boys never going to a 'scared straight' program was funny...:) I was thinking the same thing!!
the boys are having a blast with my parents and sisters. And we just got some stunningly amazing and terrifying news today.....(exhusband) is officially offered the job in Turkey. Holy. Crap. He is drafting his resignation letter today for his old firm, and he starts at the new company July 15th. I don't know if that means he flies to Turkey in a couple weeks or if it means he is trained stateside for a few months first....I am so scared about the school year. I will be a single mom for real.....I can't rely on him for anything. Not laundry, taking kids to school/picking them up, watching them while I go to karaoke....cub scouts....oh man. i have spent that last few hours nearly engulfed in anxiety.
***************************************this is where i went to the bathroom and had my episode of excrutiating pain****then you called and made me feel better a little************i love you so fucking much*********************
I cannot wait to get your poem and all of your words in tangible form. You are in my heart always and on my mind incessantly. I ended up not going to karaoke tonight because I just wanted to snuggle with your pillow and enjoy the naughty tingles in my girly bits. It made me really wish I could derive pleasure from self stimulation and I tried - I tried SOOOO hard! *sigh* I wish you were home. So we could be intimate together. We could lie in bed and listen to the fan. Listen to the rain outside the window. Know we are safe in each others' arms. I can hear your heart beating and the air moving in and out of your lungs. I can feel you kiss the top of my head. And brush my hair away from my ear with your fingers. This is what I imagine when I am falling asleep. I also, of course, imagine that while we are snuggling and all that....that I have my hand casually stroking you. Exposing and hiding your head that is freshly coated in delicious moisture. Your gasp of excitement dances in my ears.....oh my baby i miss you and your sex. rocking my hips back and forth on you is just another highlight to the love we share. a physical manifestation of our closeness and our bond. i love you, nathan wells. i love you and everything you are. every moment of the broken road you've traveled has led you to me, and every moment of my broken road has led me to you. haha rascal flatts has a song about that. :) called the broken road. too bad you're not a country fan....some lyrics:
every long lost dream/led me to where you are/others who broke my heart / they were like northern stars / pointing me on my way / into your loving arms / this much i know is true / god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you / i think about the years i spent / just passing through / i'd like to have the time i lost / and give it back to you / but you just smile and take my hand / you've been there, you understand / it's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.
I am nearly to the end of my page. :( this makes me sad, but i am also a little relieved. because it is nearly 2am. i've been suffering writer's block because of this stupid pelvic pain. the doc says i don't have any signs of illness but it putting me on an antibiotic anyway. he seems to think it's a uterine infection....and has me on doxycycline. which is used for STDs. which pisses me off, because all my tests came back negative (i am not a whore dumbass doc). My suspicion is that my IUD slipped or moved a bit when I was using the bathroom (rare, but happens) or I have diverticulitis (a weakening in my intestinal wall causing a pocket to form). I still hurt a little, but the pain diminishes by the day.
I am counting the minutes until you are home to me, my love. i don't believe you did what you are accused of. you are a better man that that - even if you weren't way back when, you are now. And that is all I care about. I know that you would never hurt me and never hurt the boys. I know that your love is true. I hope and pray that you know I am yours with all of my heart and my soul. You have helped me in so many ways, my love. so many ways. I adore you and look at your pictures daily...you keep me smiling even when i am down. because you are you - and you are honest and truly the man of my dreams.
Much love and Harlequin Kisses to you....I saw an awesome design the other day I want to sketch out and send to you as a tattoo idea - it's the Bat Symbol from the Arkham Asylum video game, but instead of a black bat...its a black and white checkered harlequin pattern.....with HARLEY in the bat symbol instead of BATMAN (see pic - bad pic but you can draw it better). hehehe I also ordered a bat symbol decal for my car window....as well as an arkham one....and a Harley and Batman chibi charm so I can make us into a necklace for me. <3 oh my sweet bat-ger....my honey bat-ger.....i love you i love you i love you. be well...!!
love always;
your harlequin girl
I finally got your letters!!! (this is saved from what I wrote Tuesday) I worry about you, my love. I am aching over here in stupid Texas while you are in stupid Colorado. I did think the joke you told about the boys never going to a 'scared straight' program was funny...:) I was thinking the same thing!!
the boys are having a blast with my parents and sisters. And we just got some stunningly amazing and terrifying news today.....(exhusband) is officially offered the job in Turkey. Holy. Crap. He is drafting his resignation letter today for his old firm, and he starts at the new company July 15th. I don't know if that means he flies to Turkey in a couple weeks or if it means he is trained stateside for a few months first....I am so scared about the school year. I will be a single mom for real.....I can't rely on him for anything. Not laundry, taking kids to school/picking them up, watching them while I go to karaoke....cub scouts....oh man. i have spent that last few hours nearly engulfed in anxiety.
***************************************this is where i went to the bathroom and had my episode of excrutiating pain****then you called and made me feel better a little************i love you so fucking much*********************
I cannot wait to get your poem and all of your words in tangible form. You are in my heart always and on my mind incessantly. I ended up not going to karaoke tonight because I just wanted to snuggle with your pillow and enjoy the naughty tingles in my girly bits. It made me really wish I could derive pleasure from self stimulation and I tried - I tried SOOOO hard! *sigh* I wish you were home. So we could be intimate together. We could lie in bed and listen to the fan. Listen to the rain outside the window. Know we are safe in each others' arms. I can hear your heart beating and the air moving in and out of your lungs. I can feel you kiss the top of my head. And brush my hair away from my ear with your fingers. This is what I imagine when I am falling asleep. I also, of course, imagine that while we are snuggling and all that....that I have my hand casually stroking you. Exposing and hiding your head that is freshly coated in delicious moisture. Your gasp of excitement dances in my ears.....oh my baby i miss you and your sex. rocking my hips back and forth on you is just another highlight to the love we share. a physical manifestation of our closeness and our bond. i love you, nathan wells. i love you and everything you are. every moment of the broken road you've traveled has led you to me, and every moment of my broken road has led me to you. haha rascal flatts has a song about that. :) called the broken road. too bad you're not a country fan....some lyrics:
every long lost dream/led me to where you are/others who broke my heart / they were like northern stars / pointing me on my way / into your loving arms / this much i know is true / god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you / i think about the years i spent / just passing through / i'd like to have the time i lost / and give it back to you / but you just smile and take my hand / you've been there, you understand / it's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.
I am nearly to the end of my page. :( this makes me sad, but i am also a little relieved. because it is nearly 2am. i've been suffering writer's block because of this stupid pelvic pain. the doc says i don't have any signs of illness but it putting me on an antibiotic anyway. he seems to think it's a uterine infection....and has me on doxycycline. which is used for STDs. which pisses me off, because all my tests came back negative (i am not a whore dumbass doc). My suspicion is that my IUD slipped or moved a bit when I was using the bathroom (rare, but happens) or I have diverticulitis (a weakening in my intestinal wall causing a pocket to form). I still hurt a little, but the pain diminishes by the day.
I am counting the minutes until you are home to me, my love. i don't believe you did what you are accused of. you are a better man that that - even if you weren't way back when, you are now. And that is all I care about. I know that you would never hurt me and never hurt the boys. I know that your love is true. I hope and pray that you know I am yours with all of my heart and my soul. You have helped me in so many ways, my love. so many ways. I adore you and look at your pictures daily...you keep me smiling even when i am down. because you are you - and you are honest and truly the man of my dreams.
Much love and Harlequin Kisses to you....I saw an awesome design the other day I want to sketch out and send to you as a tattoo idea - it's the Bat Symbol from the Arkham Asylum video game, but instead of a black bat...its a black and white checkered harlequin pattern.....with HARLEY in the bat symbol instead of BATMAN (see pic - bad pic but you can draw it better). hehehe I also ordered a bat symbol decal for my car window....as well as an arkham one....and a Harley and Batman chibi charm so I can make us into a necklace for me. <3 oh my sweet bat-ger....my honey bat-ger.....i love you i love you i love you. be well...!!
love always;
your harlequin girl
Letter From Batman
I should probably post the letters he is sending back to me...teehee....
June 9, 2013
My Beautiful and Only Harley!
God, how I miss you so much! I, just like you, am thankful for the time (asshole) did give us. I am so sorry that this situation turned out for the worse, but I know that we can get through this together. I have no reason to believe that no more than 18 months from now I will safely be back in your arms.
Breakfast sucked....today's going to be a long day I think (LOL). The rest of the week is going to go slow also because I can't call you till Friday. :( I don't want to start 'hard timing' it as some people will by trying to count down the months or days until I get to be with you again, but I know it's not going to be a huge amount of time before I do!
Well, it's time for more food so I will write again later! LOVE YOU BUNCHES!
June 11, 2013
I tried calling today even though I knew you couldn't answer. I just wanted you to know I am always thinking about you. Maybe you will pick up tomorrow :) !
I got through my physical today, another step closer to getting to a real facility. I am in a clean bill of health! The doctor said one of my liver enzymes is only a little high but it is nothing to worry about - it will lower once i am able to move around more.
i know this sounds repetitive but i miss you so much and it just scares me with me not being around that you'll just get bored of waiting for me. That's why I always try to call....I just love hearing your voice! Anyways, I don't want to start crying. Just know i love you with all of my being.
Dinner is here in a few, so I will send this letter out. Tell the kiddos and (exhusband) hello for me!!
I love you babe!
Your Batman
June 9, 2013
My Beautiful and Only Harley!
God, how I miss you so much! I, just like you, am thankful for the time (asshole) did give us. I am so sorry that this situation turned out for the worse, but I know that we can get through this together. I have no reason to believe that no more than 18 months from now I will safely be back in your arms.
Breakfast sucked....today's going to be a long day I think (LOL). The rest of the week is going to go slow also because I can't call you till Friday. :( I don't want to start 'hard timing' it as some people will by trying to count down the months or days until I get to be with you again, but I know it's not going to be a huge amount of time before I do!
Well, it's time for more food so I will write again later! LOVE YOU BUNCHES!
June 11, 2013
I tried calling today even though I knew you couldn't answer. I just wanted you to know I am always thinking about you. Maybe you will pick up tomorrow :) !
I got through my physical today, another step closer to getting to a real facility. I am in a clean bill of health! The doctor said one of my liver enzymes is only a little high but it is nothing to worry about - it will lower once i am able to move around more.
i know this sounds repetitive but i miss you so much and it just scares me with me not being around that you'll just get bored of waiting for me. That's why I always try to call....I just love hearing your voice! Anyways, I don't want to start crying. Just know i love you with all of my being.
Dinner is here in a few, so I will send this letter out. Tell the kiddos and (exhusband) hello for me!!
I love you babe!
Your Batman
Monday, June 24, 2013
Princess PipeDream
As a girl, I dreamed that I was really a Princess that had been adopted by this horrible family and forced to be emotionally and physically abused so that I would one day be rescued by a handsome Prince with a large penis and a gallant stallion of the deepest ebony. Yes, as a little girl of twelve I was already thinking about well-endowed men. I was an early bloomer as far as lustful thoughts. And yet I didn't lose my virginity until I was nearly 19....hmmmm...ANYWAY...
I would play with my fashion dolls and pony princesses and imagine that any day now - ANY DAY - a letter would come in the mail, or a prince would come and whisk me away to my Kingdom where I would be favored and waited on hand and foot. Carriages would be readied just for my Highness to go for a quick frolic in the park named after me. Balls would be held in my honor....(oh you dirty fiend! get out of the gutter!)
What would my Prince Charming look like? Would he be tall, with flowing green locks? A pale chalky complexion? Would his smile go on and on for DAYS?!? *sigh* Oh Mistah J.....*ahem* well, I did meet my Mistah J. My Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime (or Chaos, depends on who you ask). He did, indeed figuratively, ride up on an ebony stallion and whisk me away to a magical land. When we were together, nothing else mattered. But he was less a cunning villain who wanted to watch the world burn....and more a drunkard with pie in the sky ideas. And we parted ways.
This harlequin girl was down in the poopy dumps. My heart was shattered by Mistah J. I became something nobody wanted to see....a sloppy, hot mess of slut. I would spread em for everyone that asked. I felt as though I would glean happiness from the pleasure I gave to others. This was not so. I found no solace in the loins of other men. I yearned for the days when all I had to do to be content and smile a smile of inner peace was to think of a certain someone.....someone who meant the world to me. I needed that again.
So I met my Batsy....he was supposed to be just another one night stand. Someone I wouldn't dream of seeing again. Shoot - hes hundreds of miles away. What would this clowny princess be doing with a prince so far? Pfft. It's balderdash, is what it is. But he persisted.
Months later Batman had me wrapped around his batarang....once again, I have someone who makes me giggle on the inside when my facade is mournful. My batsy's voice on the phone makes me moist and gooey in all the right places. My heart, it is his. Oh, Mistah B.....you're my hero and my Prince Charming all rolled into one. I love you, Batty Bear.
 | |
| lalalalalaaaa happy princess horsey time |
I would play with my fashion dolls and pony princesses and imagine that any day now - ANY DAY - a letter would come in the mail, or a prince would come and whisk me away to my Kingdom where I would be favored and waited on hand and foot. Carriages would be readied just for my Highness to go for a quick frolic in the park named after me. Balls would be held in my honor....(oh you dirty fiend! get out of the gutter!)
What would my Prince Charming look like? Would he be tall, with flowing green locks? A pale chalky complexion? Would his smile go on and on for DAYS?!? *sigh* Oh Mistah J.....*ahem* well, I did meet my Mistah J. My Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime (or Chaos, depends on who you ask). He did, indeed figuratively, ride up on an ebony stallion and whisk me away to a magical land. When we were together, nothing else mattered. But he was less a cunning villain who wanted to watch the world burn....and more a drunkard with pie in the sky ideas. And we parted ways.
 |
| hellooooo mistah j! |
This harlequin girl was down in the poopy dumps. My heart was shattered by Mistah J. I became something nobody wanted to see....a sloppy, hot mess of slut. I would spread em for everyone that asked. I felt as though I would glean happiness from the pleasure I gave to others. This was not so. I found no solace in the loins of other men. I yearned for the days when all I had to do to be content and smile a smile of inner peace was to think of a certain someone.....someone who meant the world to me. I needed that again.
So I met my Batsy....he was supposed to be just another one night stand. Someone I wouldn't dream of seeing again. Shoot - hes hundreds of miles away. What would this clowny princess be doing with a prince so far? Pfft. It's balderdash, is what it is. But he persisted.
Months later Batman had me wrapped around his batarang....once again, I have someone who makes me giggle on the inside when my facade is mournful. My batsy's voice on the phone makes me moist and gooey in all the right places. My heart, it is his. Oh, Mistah B.....you're my hero and my Prince Charming all rolled into one. I love you, Batty Bear.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Your Voice...
My darling Batsy;
Every time I see a phone call coming in from your area code I have to stop everything and take it. I am so happy that you call even when you aren't supposed to. It makes me feel special, that you would bend the rules for me. I do want you to abide by the rules, but I am also very selfish about our phone time. Writing you and receiving your letters is wonderful...because I know that the written word will last as long as the paper does. The words don't morph or fade, as a memory can. But it also doesn't have the personality and the depth that your sweet and sexy voice brings to my ears. My eyes light up and I smile with every call. Because I know I will have 15 minutes of uninterrupted Us time. And since you have such limited time right now, I feel lucky.
I have posted once again on facebook how much I love you, and how much I miss you. It's freeing, having a facebook for everyone but family. I don't feel judged. And I can write whatever I want. And I don't have to hide Us just to avoid snarky comments and a fight.
Pearl looked like she was gaining weight for a while, but now she seems to be getting skinny again. I don't see any worms.... OH! Funny thing about Piggie....I had to carry his sorry ass down the stairs the other day because he falls down them due to the slippery nature of the stairs and his long legs and gangly frame. So I found these dog snow shoes that I had purchased while we were in Colorado. I have pink ones for Pearl and blue ones for Piggie. I can't find Pearl's, but I took the blue ones and put them on Piggie's front feet. He did great! He was a high-stepping fool for a few minutes, but then he tolerated them very well! He went up and down the stairs without a hitch! And I gave him a bath a couple of days ago and used my shampoo *and* conditioner....his fur is luxuriously soft now. Yay! Pearl never did take too well to the booties....she tried to eat them off her feet.
I am smothered with mosquito bites. Yesterday when I got home from work, I trimmed 35 lbs of branches off of the bushes with purple flowers. And i trimmed up a palm tree. And pulled some weeds. And I even got half the front lawn mowed before I nearly collapsed from heat stroke. Scott finished the lawn and then watered it all. Then later on I woke up in the middle of the night with reflux so bad I think I aspirated some. My lungs have been burning ever since. Breathing sucks.
Fuck this shit. I love you. My arms crave your presence. My skin wishes to feel the electricity of yours when we touch. F Scott Fitzgerald says "there are many types of love in the world, but never the same love twice." How right is that....I am so in love with you. I am so proud of all the steps you are taking to be a better man. I love how, every time we talk, you are telling me more and more and being so transparent. You've given your heart to me and your mind is following....it is the most precious gift a girl could ask for. Every day my mind is set on NOT breaking your heart. The very last thing I want to do is fuck over a perfectly good love story like ours.
Who would've thunk? Harley and Batman? Batsy goes for the Wonder Women.....the classy, smart, Amazonian women who have it all together. Not the silly, love-addled villainous sidekick of a clown....I mean, yeah I am smart and all. But I am a knucklehead. I am goofy and scatterbrained and naive. I hardly know my ass from a door knocker from day to day. I am only in my element at work - fixing furbabies and practicing medicine. I am damn good at what I do, but I know it doesn't interest you much. That makes me a little sad....because so many exciting things go on at work that I would love to share with you. I know you don't like sad things - but it's the sad stuff that makes the happy stuff all the better! And without letting in the sad, you can never truly be happy, my Love.
I will leave you with a quote:
"To believe that we can and MUST hide the parts of us that are broken, out of fear that others are incapable of loving the parts of us that we cannot love ourselves, is to believe that sunshine is incapable of entering a broken window and warming an empty room"
~Sandra Kring
Love always and forever;
Harley Jane Quinn
Every time I see a phone call coming in from your area code I have to stop everything and take it. I am so happy that you call even when you aren't supposed to. It makes me feel special, that you would bend the rules for me. I do want you to abide by the rules, but I am also very selfish about our phone time. Writing you and receiving your letters is wonderful...because I know that the written word will last as long as the paper does. The words don't morph or fade, as a memory can. But it also doesn't have the personality and the depth that your sweet and sexy voice brings to my ears. My eyes light up and I smile with every call. Because I know I will have 15 minutes of uninterrupted Us time. And since you have such limited time right now, I feel lucky.
I have posted once again on facebook how much I love you, and how much I miss you. It's freeing, having a facebook for everyone but family. I don't feel judged. And I can write whatever I want. And I don't have to hide Us just to avoid snarky comments and a fight.
Pearl looked like she was gaining weight for a while, but now she seems to be getting skinny again. I don't see any worms.... OH! Funny thing about Piggie....I had to carry his sorry ass down the stairs the other day because he falls down them due to the slippery nature of the stairs and his long legs and gangly frame. So I found these dog snow shoes that I had purchased while we were in Colorado. I have pink ones for Pearl and blue ones for Piggie. I can't find Pearl's, but I took the blue ones and put them on Piggie's front feet. He did great! He was a high-stepping fool for a few minutes, but then he tolerated them very well! He went up and down the stairs without a hitch! And I gave him a bath a couple of days ago and used my shampoo *and* conditioner....his fur is luxuriously soft now. Yay! Pearl never did take too well to the booties....she tried to eat them off her feet.
I am smothered with mosquito bites. Yesterday when I got home from work, I trimmed 35 lbs of branches off of the bushes with purple flowers. And i trimmed up a palm tree. And pulled some weeds. And I even got half the front lawn mowed before I nearly collapsed from heat stroke. Scott finished the lawn and then watered it all. Then later on I woke up in the middle of the night with reflux so bad I think I aspirated some. My lungs have been burning ever since. Breathing sucks.
Fuck this shit. I love you. My arms crave your presence. My skin wishes to feel the electricity of yours when we touch. F Scott Fitzgerald says "there are many types of love in the world, but never the same love twice." How right is that....I am so in love with you. I am so proud of all the steps you are taking to be a better man. I love how, every time we talk, you are telling me more and more and being so transparent. You've given your heart to me and your mind is following....it is the most precious gift a girl could ask for. Every day my mind is set on NOT breaking your heart. The very last thing I want to do is fuck over a perfectly good love story like ours.
Who would've thunk? Harley and Batman? Batsy goes for the Wonder Women.....the classy, smart, Amazonian women who have it all together. Not the silly, love-addled villainous sidekick of a clown....I mean, yeah I am smart and all. But I am a knucklehead. I am goofy and scatterbrained and naive. I hardly know my ass from a door knocker from day to day. I am only in my element at work - fixing furbabies and practicing medicine. I am damn good at what I do, but I know it doesn't interest you much. That makes me a little sad....because so many exciting things go on at work that I would love to share with you. I know you don't like sad things - but it's the sad stuff that makes the happy stuff all the better! And without letting in the sad, you can never truly be happy, my Love.
I will leave you with a quote:
"To believe that we can and MUST hide the parts of us that are broken, out of fear that others are incapable of loving the parts of us that we cannot love ourselves, is to believe that sunshine is incapable of entering a broken window and warming an empty room"
~Sandra Kring
Love always and forever;
Harley Jane Quinn
Sunday, June 16, 2013
I received your letter today!! It had been in the mail yesterday but I finally went to the mailbox today. :) I wanted so badly to talk to you more when you called Sunday....Scott was engrossed in his phone and so I didn't feel bad that I told you I miss you and I love you. Thank you so much for the call. It made me smile in my heart.
I went to Glenwood Cemetery on Saturday afternoon because I was feeling overwhelmed and I was already in the area. As you know, this is the place where I find peace and I can meditate. I got there ten minutes before the gates closed, and though I did not have a lot of time, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and began to Center Myself. Before I could even organize my thoughts, the tears flowed freely out of my closed eyes. I did not sob; I did not collapse into despair. I simply let the tears flush the stress from my mind. From my body. I felt wave after wave of tears cascading down my cheeks and dripping from my jaw.
When I meditate, I do not think of solid thoughts. If you think of your mind as a pen writing a diary of living words, I simply suspend the pen and allow the words and ink to swirl around and reorganize themselves. My brain de-frags. And the stress leaves by body through my eyes.Snippets of pictures flash in my head, but they are just wisps of thoughts that haven't congealed. I saw you and my sisters and my coworkers....I saw leaves and flowers and smelled fresh grass. A mockingbird was singing a cheerful song behind me, nearly drowning out the sound of I-10 traffic, which was quite kind of him... Afterward, I took a picture of myself and Instagrammed it....it looks like a work of art, to be honest. It's black and white and I have mascara streaks down my cheeks. It's honest.
I have put one of your shirts on one of my pillows. It makes me less lonely. Not really, but I like to tell myself that it does. It seems to be working I think hahaha. sigh...oh how i miss your long, strong arms wrapped around me like a gibbon's....the scruffiness of your face against mine. The chapped parts of your lips feeling like little bumps on my lips...the way you lean down to kiss me...and run your fingers through my hair. The way you immediately relax when I trace my fingers along your neck and the back of your head. The light flicker of your tongue on mine. Your laugh. Your face. Your smile. The look of love and devotion in your eyes. And the sudden tolerance of my snoring! Sleeping with you is sublime. And the first time we made love when you came home....and you looked at me as i sat on top of you....and you breathed "god, babe, you are so beautiful"....I will never forget that moment. In my whole life. I have never felt so beautiful...so pretty....so loved. Thank you.
The boys are having fun with family in Colorado. Mom accidentally put her phone through the wash and is unable to use it now. She emailed me a few days ago and I guess I should email her back.
Vato is going to touch up my clock tattoo and color it in for me. He isn't charging me - no, not even THAT - because he guarantees his tattoos and he included color in the original price I paid him. Woot! I know it makes you jealous that I have more ink than you....we will get you a new tattoo later on, when you are home. My other friend Ruben (from Colorado who now lives here) still owes me a free tat and I am going to see if he will do the red bat symbol you drew. I want it on my right leg, above the ankle. It will be smaller than you drew it, but I think it will look best where I want it.
I really enjoy being able to come here online and send you a letter and know you will have it within a day or so. It means I don't have to go to the post office or anything. And I don't really have to rely on myself. That's cool. One of my many imperfections that you have to put up with is my inability to follow through on every little thing. For the record, I have started a blog called Harlequin Bats about us. I don't think it is anything terribly special, and I will most likely get tired of it or forget about it within the week. But for now it is helping me cope. Because I am drowning a little without you. I love you so, so much baby, So much. More than I should and more than I want to....you've broken me down into a girl who craves being loved again. I ache for your touch.
I have begun to tire of Paul a little. He isn't clingy or anything....and I have gone a whole day without communication with him....but he isn't you. And now every time I am with him for anything - platonic or otherwise - I simply wish he was you....and the real him was elsewhere. Looking at another year of him is daunting. Perhaps it is just because I miss you so much. I can't abide being with someone else. I have stopped climaxing with him at all. Again, because I wish he was you. And he isn't. I don't know what to do. But I am sure it will work itself out. Life goes on - it always does.
It appears I am reaching the bottom of my page. Know always that I love you and I am here for you. I am your advocate on the outside. I am constantly reminding everyone about jpay and writing letters and sending money. I love you I love you I love you.
Love always;
your one and only Harley
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Summer Lovin!
OY! Today has been an adventure! What with all the children getting out of school for the summer, what's a girl gotta do to get a little alone time to ponder life's little mysteries? The apartment complex is positively humming with noise! I don't know about you, but this girl had to get away from it all!
So I went outside - it was raining! Glorious precipitation from the clouds! I love rain. It smells good. It is warm and wet, like a shower....and it makes the softest patter-patter noise when it falls on leaves and mulch. I meandered down to the local cemetery. It's never loud there - lord knows the deceased need quiet in which to maintain their eternal slumber. Nobody would want to come across their loved one as an undead angry person.
Guess that's what it means to allow the dead to rest in peace. It felt soooo good getting away from the hustle and bustle of weekends as a single gal in a world full of procreatory beings. My biological clock is Just Fine, thankyewverymuch! So as I sat to ponder, my mind began to wander. I let the trees and the music of nature take me away to my secret room in my head.....everyone should have one. A place where only you can go.
And I fell asleep. :) I dreamed of my Batman and where he is right now - being a mild mannered billionaire philanthropist somewhere. Knowing he would come home to me soon.
I love my Batman. And he loves me...
So I went outside - it was raining! Glorious precipitation from the clouds! I love rain. It smells good. It is warm and wet, like a shower....and it makes the softest patter-patter noise when it falls on leaves and mulch. I meandered down to the local cemetery. It's never loud there - lord knows the deceased need quiet in which to maintain their eternal slumber. Nobody would want to come across their loved one as an undead angry person.
And I fell asleep. :) I dreamed of my Batman and where he is right now - being a mild mannered billionaire philanthropist somewhere. Knowing he would come home to me soon.
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